another day gone.....
lately I have been sleeping better.....the demons decided to give me a break....
hope that doesn't mean anything....LOL....
anyway......
I am sitting here with drink in hand....wondering about the way things turn out......
I am questioning my own worth as a parent...have I taught my children anything...have I shown them the discipline it takes to make it in this world.... have I shown them the love it takes to keep on.....sometimes I wonder....
and then something happens to remind me....sometimes they are better at seeing the big picture than I am........
I have needed a run....a long one....I have needed to listen to my music and think thro the day....I have wanted to go...but I have not wanted to be pushed I just want to do it...and I seem to feel the pressure when I am around a lot of people that do this...yea...stupid....insecure...but that is the way I feel.....I can't seem to ditch it...and I think...come ON!...my goodness, Patti....but....there it is....................
Lately I have wanted to rest......I have watched tv...trying to figure out the political scene .....I don't think that is possible sometimes.............it is all a big drama....
I have slept....oh yes......sleep....a nice reprieve from the restlessness I have felt over the last 4 1/2 yrs......but it has also made me lazy.....I have for ages gotten up at 5 or 530...and run and then dressed for work....it has been soooo good for me...I feel it in this 45 yr old body....but no.....lately I have rested....
God is love...............and if He is love.....then what else can we do but believe, the alternative is not worth wasting my time............I think that that is the final answer to my questions over these last years...........
Song of the day....HEAVEN......los lonely boys
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